Growth

2012 was full of changes; as any other year. Each and every year brings new opportunities; new struggles; new outcomes; new victories; new relationships; new outlooks; new resolutions; new decisions. Looking back, there is a lot to say about my past year. But the main word I'm going to use to describe my year is growth. I am so proud of some of the decisions that I have made throughout 2012. I am so proud of the person that I am today. I'm still not a perfect mold to any extent; but I know that I have fixed up some holes and cracks and I'm moving in the same direction. 2012 and the endeavors that are held within it won't be forgotten. My proudest moment in 2012 was for the first time in a long time, I took a moment to look inside myself and analyze the relationships that encompassed all of my time. I decided that I was better than what I was allowing myself to be consumed with and I decided to make a difficult decision to better my life. I could not have done that without my faith and my friends; especially my roommates.

This upcoming year; my only resolution is to trust in the Lord at all times and to be brave enough to evaluate my life choices daily rather than waiting until December 31, 2013. Granted a New Year is a great defining moment in which you can capitalize on everything you learned from one full year and create a mastermind plan to conquer the following year; the do's and dont's, etc. But.. shouldn't we really be doing that every day? Why do we always have to look at the biggest picture/plan out there. We need to start looking at our lives moment by moment; day by day; week by week first. Why wait until next year to decide to make you a better you?

At any moment you have the power to stand up and say this is not how the story is going to end.

I need to stop giving myself excuses to complain about things going on in my life because it is my decision to react a certain way. If I don't like something, I need to start thinking about how I can either make changes in my life and fix this 'something'; or making changes on my outlook so that I can appreciate every moment of this life because it's too short. Life is way too precious to wait until tomorrow, let alone wait until next year. I am learning bushels about myself. I am learning about the type of person that I want to be and I am taking note on the type of person that I definitely don't want to be. I am beginning to understand who I am and what kind of life I want to lead. The best part about understanding your own personal growth and desires is being able to have the confidence in yourself to admit that you aren't perfect, but have the courage, strength, and faith that you can make yourself better. I don't want to be the girl that needs help. I've never been good at accepting help from others; but I have learned that I have grown the most when I have made a decision for myself; not for anyone else.

This year, my goal is to take a look at myself everyday. Look into the depths of my soul and be real with myself; ask myself if this is really want I want. If that answer is no; then I want to have the courage to be able to change.