You know that moment when something hits your right in the face? One of those moments when you were not expecting it at all. These moments happen for many reasons; relationships, emotions, school... life. That moment when you can no longer push down what you're trying to avoid. Like a building crumbling from the bottom up, you tumble down. Your watch in awe as if you are not even inside of your own body. You wonder, when did this happen? or why do i feel like this? You can't help it.
In this life, we, as human beings have very little control. We can not control what the world brings our way. We can not control who is brought into our lives. We can not control the way people around us act or feel. We can not control what others try to say or how they might hurt us. We can not control life. But we CAN control how we react/respond to any given situation. We have a choice to either dwell upon something and let it to eat away at us like a parasite; or we can choose to accept that it has happened and be proactive in how to move forward. This second choice isn't always going to be easy. Because of this lack of control; a lot of people (myself included) attempt to make themselves numb to feelings of any kind. We avoid anything that might be uncomfortable or anything that might make us feel something. We avoid reaching out for things we want in fear of rejection; of vulnerability; of pain.
In those moments; I don't have anything to tell you to deal. Sometimes, its a really positive 'smack to the face' and other times its a 'bitch slap to the face'. Take it as it comes. You'll get by and remember to not worry about what you can not control; focus on what you can control.